READER CONSIDERATIONS

In writing a follow-up story, you must consider the following two distinct groups: the reader who has read the original story and the reader who may not have read the original story. Using this consideration as a guide, your follow-up should be written so as not to bore the former or confuse the latter. You can satisfy the requirements of both readers by using the follow-up story structure explained and diagramed in figure 5-3.

STRUCTURE

As you saw in figure 5-3, the follow-up story contains three distinct components - the lead, tie-back and body. These three components form the structure of the follow-up story which is covered in the following text.

Lead

The lead of a follow-up serves the same purpose as the lead in any other story. In a follow-up story, however, make sure your lead contains a fresh news peg, a new angle or an entirely different approach from the one used in the original spot news story to which it is related.

Tie-Back

The tie-back consists of one or two paragraphs located between the lead and the body of the story which contains a brief but clear synopsis of the information presented in the original spot news story. The tie-back is used to refresh the memories of those readers who saw the original story and to update those who did not see it.

Body

The body of the story simply presents details of all new developments in the situation. It is usually written in the inverted pyramid style described in Chapter 2.

PRINCIPLES OF REWRITING

LEARNING OBJECTIVE: Recognize the basic principles of rewriting a story in terms of improving copy, updating the story, transforming informal reports, localizing, combining stories and shifting emphasis.

The principles of rewriting are the same as those for good newswriting. If a story does not conform to acceptable newswriting standards, it should be rewritten and made to do so. In other words, you take what someone else has written poorly and convert it into usable news copy.

When you are assigned to a command publication, such as a ship or station newspaper, you will find that a certain amount of your material comes from contributors who do not write in journalistic style. Other material comes to you as handouts and from outside sources, such as clipsheets, naval messages, directives and official correspondence. If you want your publication to contain readable and consistently good material or if you have a local angle and want it to be accepted by commercial news media in your area, it is often necessary to rewrite it.

The following are six basic reasons for rewritting copy: To improve poor copy

To update material

To transform informal reports into properly written news stories

To localize general information

To combine two or more stories

To change story emphasis

IMPROVING COPY

Often, a person's first attempt at writing a story produces dismal results. Some members of a public affairs office staff may not be thoroughly skilled in the writing craft. Also, material for intended release is often received from other staff offices or departments. These articles frequently need the professional touch of a rewrite reporter. A rewrite reporter organizes a poorly written, improperly arranged item into a sequentialy logical finished product.

A rewrite reporter may have to turn a straight news story into a feature. In this event, the rewriter often needs to acquire additional information and can expect to spend some time on the telephone - or in a face-to-face interview - before a finished product can be turned out.

There are times, too, when the rewrite reporter may have to convert a feature story - or a poor attempt at a feature - into a news story. Therefore, a reporter should be proficient in both types of writing before assuming a rewrite assignment.

One of the most frequent faults of badly written copy is the writer's failure to give ample play in the lead to the dominant news element of the story. The rewriter must dig through the story, find the proper lead, put it at the beginning where it belongs and, finally, organize the remainder of the story in coherent form.

UPDATING THE STORY

Often, the rewriter must update a story that has already been printed. So naturally, this person needs a fresh angle to perform this feat. For example, assume that a military aircraft crashes with three people aboard. Two crewmen are killed and the third is missing. A story based on these facts would be released as soon as possible. Then suppose the third man is still alive, that he had managed to parachute from the falling airplane, had made his way back to a highway, caught a ride, telephoned the base and reported his experience. The news of a survivor is the fresh angle needed by the, rewriter to update the story of the crash.