TRANSFORMING INFORMAL REPORTS

Another reason for rewrite is to turn an informal report, such as telephoned information, into a properly written news story.

Cooperation between the JO in the office and the JO on the scene is important to the Navy, especially during times of fast-breaking news events, such as those experienced during a major accident or a natural disaster.

The initial release in these cases is generally compiled by one person who receives reports telephoned by reporters in the field. To make a single, comprehensive release, the office-bound JO adds background material available. in office files and sometimes works with material brought back from interviews by other public affairs personnel.

Other routine news stories are handled in much the same fashion, without the hectic atmosphere and pressure of disaster stories. For example, the command's MWR petty officer maybe the public affairs office correspondent for athletic events. That does not necessarily mean the correspondent brings a finished story to the public affairs office, but rather, the correspondent telephones a contact there and reports the details of some sports event, and the JO turns that report into a professional release for local media and the command newspaper.

LOCALIZING

Public affairs offices receive news from a variety of people and places. News releases from the DoD, DON, weapons manufacturers, shipyards, aircraft manufacturers and other outlets provide good sources for outside news. However, this news is usually broad in scope and slanted toward a general market. Therefore, it will require a certain degree of refinement and localization to meet the needs of your local readership.

When these releases are rewritten, the local angle should be introduced in the lead and the more general aspects minimized. For example, suppose you are attached to a naval air station and receive a handout from an aircraft manufacturer stating that a new type of aircraft is in production and will soon be made available to the Navy. The release contains a wealth of unclassified information about the plane and its potentialities.

A little research on your part uncovers the fact that an aircraft squadron at your command will be one of the first squadrons in the Navy to receive and operate the new planes. You can now combine your information with that in the general release - playing up the local aspect - and you will have a story of interest to local readers.

COMBINING STORIES

In the case of combining stories, the rewriter often puts two or more stories together to make one. The combination generally results in a roundup story with the first paragraph carrying a combination lead to emphasize various news developments.

An example might be a combination of the following stories:

A story is carried in the local paper about a hurricane that struck the area.

A news release is issued by a nearby naval command citing several men assigned to that activity who aided victims of the disaster.

Both of these stories, wrapped up with a fresh release about awards for heroism presented to Navy personnel by the mayor of the nearby town, nets the rewriter a multi-interest, highly readable story.

SHIFTING EMPHASIS

In Navy public affairs, it is standard policy to release the same story at the same time to all media. However, you will get better media mileage if you rewrite the same release several times to meet the needs of different media.

Suppose you wanted to get a certain story published in a variety of publications, such as the local papers, Navy Times, Naval Aviation News, one or more of the trade publications and several individuals' hometown newspapers. In addition, you think the story is worthy of airtime on radio and television.

Under normal circumstances, you cannot take the time to rewrite the same story several different ways and slant it to the particular needs of different media. Yet there are occasions when this is necessary, if you want to obtain maximum coverage for a special type of story. When this is the case, you will have to keep rewriting

Figure 5-4. - Our Navy excerpt.

Figure 5-5. -Navy Times excerpt.

the story in the style preferred by each of the different media.

Figures 5-4 through 5-7 show introductions to four different accounts of the same story as published in Our Navy, All Hands, Navy Times and one of several hometown newspapers. Although all the stories concern the rescue of a grounded LST from a coral reef in the

Bahamas, note how the story is rewritten each time to present a new approach or to meet the style of the particular publication for which it was intended. Although a certain amount of additional work and effort was necessary, the rewrites resulted in 100-percent coverage.

Figure 5-6. -All Hands excerpt.

Figure 5-7. - Hometown newspaper excerpt.